If you can imagine a dark alley with no pencil of light, you might get to grasp a bit of the despair which has of late caught on with me. By the time realization had set in , it was too late the damage was already done. Like a small rot engulfs the whole fruit, this virus of despair had spread across my soul obliterating the rays of life. Imagine being caught in an oppressive turbulence of darkness, the more you try to get out of it more stronger its grip gets on to you- that can be the closest I can come to describe my situation now.
So how did this start? How did laughter, joy get eclipsed from my soul and how did the sun almost divorced my skies? I wish I knew the answer but when the magnitude of the problem came to my notice it was too late. The symptoms I acutely observe and most of the time I can control but deep in my heart I know that soon it will be too late.
Its difficult to put a finger to it directly, its vague and its presence can be felt only by the effect. Unlike the fracture of the bones the fracture of your soul is more difficult to understand and heal. You loose your will to live, all of a sudden life begins to weigh down more than the World. All you want to do is to hope that the oppression ends but you know not how to end it. Despair becomes the mood of the day, the slow undercurrent of it goes on making its presence felt however hard you try to ignore. If by day you can some how go through the normal routine, the dark still night holds its own terrors for you. Unknown terrors disturb your heart and sleep looses it soothing power on you.
So what can I do in such a situation? I wish I had the elixir of life which will reinvigorate my and get the light back in my life. I wish I had the power to ensure I can laugh and smile again. How I wish I was able to feel the soothing power of life once again. But now, in my despair all I can hope for is a quick end to it.
May 1,2015
So how did this start? How did laughter, joy get eclipsed from my soul and how did the sun almost divorced my skies? I wish I knew the answer but when the magnitude of the problem came to my notice it was too late. The symptoms I acutely observe and most of the time I can control but deep in my heart I know that soon it will be too late.
Its difficult to put a finger to it directly, its vague and its presence can be felt only by the effect. Unlike the fracture of the bones the fracture of your soul is more difficult to understand and heal. You loose your will to live, all of a sudden life begins to weigh down more than the World. All you want to do is to hope that the oppression ends but you know not how to end it. Despair becomes the mood of the day, the slow undercurrent of it goes on making its presence felt however hard you try to ignore. If by day you can some how go through the normal routine, the dark still night holds its own terrors for you. Unknown terrors disturb your heart and sleep looses it soothing power on you.
So what can I do in such a situation? I wish I had the elixir of life which will reinvigorate my and get the light back in my life. I wish I had the power to ensure I can laugh and smile again. How I wish I was able to feel the soothing power of life once again. But now, in my despair all I can hope for is a quick end to it.
May 1,2015
