Dear Bhaloma,
A year has passed since you have passed on and I travelled to Ranchi to maybe bid the final farewell. For me this was a personal journey- I came to a place whose main attraction was you. I didn't know how will I react as Ranchi and you were synonymous with each other.
Grief, for me is an intensely affair and somehow I always react late to it. Be it the loss of Guri or when my love left me, my reaction was late. At first my mind and heart fortifies myself from the impending harm and I get numb. After a day or two when things cool down it hits me like a tornado- breaking down my reserves and overwhelming me with it's intensity.
So, when I landed in Ranchi it was just another long flight I had finished. Till I came to Geetanjali it was fine but the moment I stepped inside I knew why Ranchi will never be the same again.. Bhaloma is no more the magic which had made Ranchi special was gone.
Grief, I think is a great binder. It helps to mend bridges more effectively than joy. Identification of grief somehow generates a common platform where in people come together to understand and come to terms with their losses. May be the Galaxy of rituals which follows on such occasions allows the living to get on and come to terms with losses which are irreplaceable.
So here we were bound by our grief. Each and everyone of us had shared the magic which Bhaloma was and over the last one year the only thing we tried to learn was how to lead a life without her shadows. Death is cruel for more than one reason not only does it reminds you of your own fragile existence but also shows you how tragic life can be.
A life without Bhaloma for me is like a life without an assurance of something solid It was not as if I was a very frequent visitor but I knew of the assurance of love which will never wane. Bhaloma, as the rituals went on I looked at your picture- I didn't feel the intensity which I think I should have left. But every few seconds I felt the absence of something which made me realise what you were. Bhaloma will I come to Ranchi after this? I seriously don't know the answer? Bhaloma how will I react to everyone who are close to me? I dnt know. I know Bhaloma, that without you a chapter of my life has closed. I will not ask for your help in times of need- you have done enough for me. All that I ask for is that you give me the strength to see through a life for your love certainly will not be replicated.
A year has passed since you have passed on and I travelled to Ranchi to maybe bid the final farewell. For me this was a personal journey- I came to a place whose main attraction was you. I didn't know how will I react as Ranchi and you were synonymous with each other.
Grief, for me is an intensely affair and somehow I always react late to it. Be it the loss of Guri or when my love left me, my reaction was late. At first my mind and heart fortifies myself from the impending harm and I get numb. After a day or two when things cool down it hits me like a tornado- breaking down my reserves and overwhelming me with it's intensity.
So, when I landed in Ranchi it was just another long flight I had finished. Till I came to Geetanjali it was fine but the moment I stepped inside I knew why Ranchi will never be the same again.. Bhaloma is no more the magic which had made Ranchi special was gone.
Grief, I think is a great binder. It helps to mend bridges more effectively than joy. Identification of grief somehow generates a common platform where in people come together to understand and come to terms with their losses. May be the Galaxy of rituals which follows on such occasions allows the living to get on and come to terms with losses which are irreplaceable.
So here we were bound by our grief. Each and everyone of us had shared the magic which Bhaloma was and over the last one year the only thing we tried to learn was how to lead a life without her shadows. Death is cruel for more than one reason not only does it reminds you of your own fragile existence but also shows you how tragic life can be.
A life without Bhaloma for me is like a life without an assurance of something solid It was not as if I was a very frequent visitor but I knew of the assurance of love which will never wane. Bhaloma, as the rituals went on I looked at your picture- I didn't feel the intensity which I think I should have left. But every few seconds I felt the absence of something which made me realise what you were. Bhaloma will I come to Ranchi after this? I seriously don't know the answer? Bhaloma how will I react to everyone who are close to me? I dnt know. I know Bhaloma, that without you a chapter of my life has closed. I will not ask for your help in times of need- you have done enough for me. All that I ask for is that you give me the strength to see through a life for your love certainly will not be replicated.
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